Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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