so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
