At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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