if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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