I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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