I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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