Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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