why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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