you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
