If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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