After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
