I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
