I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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