life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
