I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
did you just send me my own nude
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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