Fine. I'll sleep in my office
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
