Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
