Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
