My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
