How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
