I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
