Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
