I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
