Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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