Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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