So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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