I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
