So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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