he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So much Jack, so little girl.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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