Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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