That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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