Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
