I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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