I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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