Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
