Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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