dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
