I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
