Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
