I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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