just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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