dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
