Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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