You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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