We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
