Did you just see the Batmobile???
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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