You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
