I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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