on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
