I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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