Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
