the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
