dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
