Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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