i barfeds in our rink
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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