Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize