Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
