he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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