there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i barfeds in our rink
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
