i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
