so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
