They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
