At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize