census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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