it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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