Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize