I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
